Hair

So..are you like me and look in the mirror every so often and think, "I really ought to do something with my hair"?

I'm in one of those mindsets right now. My hair is longer than it has been in a long time, hanging just past my shoulders. It's in that awkward growth phase where it's enough to drive my neck crazy but not enough to put into a substantive pony tail yet. While I could tie it back, it would be so ridiculous that there are no words to describe the little nub that would hang off the back of my head.

I look in the mirror, especially on a day like today when I know I have a job interview coming up, and it just....hangs there. And I think, I really ought to do something with my hair.

Then there's this:

I have no earthly idea what to do with my hair.

It's been kind of a constant theme in my life. When I was little, it hung almost to my knees until I took a stand for independence around 3rd grade and bowled it. That's right - chopped it all off to a super short bowl-bob (something in-between) that the stylist was hesitant to do because she knew my mother, but I assured her my mom wouldn't kill her. At least, I didn't think so. Then I went through a phase of growing it out to about where it is now (8th grade) and then shaving it military-style during high school and keeping it spiky for many, many years. When I got sick, it grew out and then when God started putting my strength back in me, I cut it all short again. And then I really got into pinks and browns and feminine cuts in my clothes, and I decided I'm never going that route again.

Maybe it's my mannish, long face, but the pixie cut isn't for me. Or maybe it is. Like I said - I have no idea what to do with my hair.

My mannish features are a bit of a problem. I get them from my mom, and she'll admit that. But the cuts that I like - those awesome shaggy layered looks - just make me look like Justin Bieber or any number of high school boys playing guitar to attract the girls. No, really. I look like the young men I have had crushes on, and a physical attraction to, as a young woman. I don't want to LOOK LIKE them. I want them looking at me!

And the other problem is that I can't put any product in my hair, and I wouldn't trust myself with a curling iron (my hands are prone to shake). That makes it difficult to find the right cut that is feminine, professional, AND easy to maintain, that can just lay there and not look stupid or requires minimal upkeep.

I so want to be that sassy and professional woman who looks the role of a communicator, servant, and friend. And I want something that reflects who I am at my core. So when I'm standing in the mirror watching my long hair fall just over my shoulders, I'm constantly thinking, "I really ought to do something with my hair."

But I just don't know what to do with my hair.

So I look again a few hours out of the shower and my hair is doing that awesome flipping-up thing right around my neckline like a 1950s housewife or a character in Mad Men...and I guess it's ok.

Until I figure out what to do with it.