Selectively Connected

Did you know that you don't have to have social media on your phone? 

That statement probably comes as a shock to many persons. In a world in which we are constantly connected, not having social media in our pockets seems sacrilegious. 

How are my friends supposed to know what I'm having for dinner? How am I supposed to share the really cool birds I just saw on my walk? Who will I tell how miserable I am that I have to do adult things like work my job or raise my kids? How will I post inspiring messages or laughable memes if my phone is not my constant companion? 

What if I miss the thing I have to repost for Jesus to love me and let me get into heaven?

Can I tell you something? I have never had social media on my phone. Never. I have social media. I have social media accounts. I am active on social media. And...I have never once posted to social media from my phone. 

And it hasn't killed me. 

Actually, I only have social media on my desktop computer. (Yes, I still have a desktop computer.) See, the great thing about having a desktop computer is that it is then something I have to choose and be deliberate about. I have to decide that I want to sit in a particular spot, with particular things available to me and other things unavailable to me, and that I want to spend my time engaging in whatever I am engaging in on my desktop computer. 

If I want to post a picture to social media from my phone, I have to actually plug my phone into my computer via a USB cable, choose to enable file transfer, and browse through my folder to select the photo that I want to share. Again, this forces me into living a deliberate life. A life that I have to keep choosing. 

So often, our phones - and social media - and the internet in general - and video games (PS- I don't have any video games on my phone, either) are nothing more than distractions. They are meant to distract us. They distract us when we have to wait. They distract us when we are in an unpleasant situation. They distract us when we don't want to have to be active participants in our lives. 

While we choose to distract ourselves, everything after that is not really a deliberate choice. Our minds get sucked in and we're trapped in the vacuum that is, honestly, nothingness. 

Can I tell you something else? I actively use social media, but never on my phone, and it's not overwhelming to me when I come back to it on my desktop after awhile. Because I have not trained my brain that it has to see literally everything. I scroll through, slow down for the things that interest me, engage with some things and pass others by, and when I'm satisfied that this has been enough, I walk away and go do something else.  

And the internet doesn't follow me. And I don't take it with me. 

And...it's okay. 

(And for further record, my phone has its own email address; it's not hooked to my primary email address. So I don't even get email unless I'm at my desktop.) 

It doesn't break the internet. It doesn't break me. It doesn't diminish my relationships. In fact, it strengthens them because when I am engaged, I am truly engaged - by choice, not by mindlessness. And if I'm unavailable, I'm unavailable, but I'll come back at some point. 

We are the only generation in the history of the world that thinks we have to be constantly available to each other, all day every day, and...it's a lie. We don't have to be. We weren't created to be. 

You don't have to keep social media in your pocket. You don't have to take the internet with you everywhere you go. You don't have to live your life with one eye constantly to sharing it.

In fact, I think you're better off if you don't.